A Man with No Juice
After Art Buchwald
Like we've always said, our main job in Paris is not working for a newspaper, but booking people in hotels, making reservations for them in restaurants and nightclubs, taking care of their airline tickets, and acting as a guide.
Occasionally people get annoyed if we slip up on a request, and we’re awfully careful to see A.
The other day we received a call from two Hollywood songwriters Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Hansen. «Look, Art, we are coming to Paris on Saturday and B. What would you advise?»
«You’d better stay at the George V.»
The reason we suggested the George V was C that wasn’t mad at us. D for Americans who never showed up most hotel managers in Paris won’t speak to us.
«Okay,» Mr. Cahn said. «Get us two bedrooms and a sitting-room.»
«That may be difficult, because the hotels are pretty crowded now,» we said.
«Well, use some juice, will you?» Mr. Cahn asked.
«Juice» is a Hollywood expression which means «influence», and we didn’t want to admit we had very little juice in Paris E, so we said: «You’ll have the rooms.»
We did manage to get an accommodation and on Friday morning we went to the hotel not to miss the celebrities. By nine in the evening they had not arrived. F a room-clerk did not even look at me.
On Monday the same cheerful voices phoned us. Their colleague had made a reservation for them in another hotel and they were happy there. Cahn did not offer an apology and we thought it would be rude to remind them of the Hotel «George V».
At lunch Mr. Cahn asked: «Do you have any juice at the "Excelsior Hotel" in Rome?»
«No,» we said in a firm voice, «none at all.»
1after living here all these years
2...when we were leaving a lounge
3...we don’t have any hotel rooms
4...speaking with the manager of the George V
5...it doesn’t happen too often
6...having made previous reservations
7...that it was the only hotel in town

mashashherbina    3   26.04.2020 15:47    54