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dealing with conflict.

losing friends is about as easy as making friends if you don't know how to deal with anger and conflict. conflict is part of everyone's life. it will show up at school, at work and athome. ifs ok to feel angry, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed or sad. these feelings are natural, but it's how you deal with it that makes the difference. some people scream, shout, swear, call people names, try to get back at or even hit the person who has hurt them. others do their best to keep away from disagreements, and very few deal with conflicts successfully.

resolving conflict is a step by step process. before you start discussing the problem, cool off, count to 10, take a deep breath and imagine a relaxing place. then, say what's really bothering you. while doing that, watch how you express yourself. don't blame or accuse. share how you feel by using "i" statements. for example, don't say "you are always bossing me around," but "i feel frustrated because you don't pay attention to what i think."

you want people to hear your opinion so make sure you practice what you preach2. listen carefully to the other person and accept that he or she might see the problem in a different way. be flexible and open-minded, willing to apologise, forgive and move.

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