Написать свой опыт самообороны на английском языке

Once I went to the store. It was 8 o’clock in the evening. And suddenly from around the corner a man runs up to me and asks me to smoke. I told him that I didn’t have cigarettes, and then he took a knife from his pocket and said give soy money here. I immediately hit him from the elbow in the jaw, he fell, I wrung his arm and took the knife from him. But another drug addict attacked me from behind, I immediately got up and hit him in the head with a turntable. He got up and took a stone from the ground, I hit him in the jaw, took a stone and drove it into his chest. Then I went to the store and bought a pack of dumplings. And now these drug addicts are afraid of me and give me all their money every time I go to the store for dumplings.